It has been a rough week in our house.
I have been struggling with feeling overwhelmed, pulled in 500 directions, and wishing there were about 10 of me instead of one.
Have you ever wondered if God might have you confused with someone else when your plate is so full it is overflowing and you can't possibly imagine anything else being added?
This is going to be a long post, probably three in one, but I dont have time to worry about it or write them all separately so here it goes...
Olivia continues to be the almost perfect baby, sleeping like a champ and eating well.
She just likes to be held all the time, which isn't her fault, but mine. Well it's simply a defense mechanism I have used in order to protect her from Isaac.
She does sleep in her pack n play at night very well, so I am not too concerned.
Isaac continues to fill his day with acting out and is constantly into something or destroying something he shouldn't demanding my attention that has thus been directed towards other things....
Like the laundry,
cleaning the house, trying to pick up the house, taking care of a one month old, & helping everyone feel special and loved on very little sleep and very little self esteem.
This combo does not equal a sweet, loving, patient momma.
I am struggling to get rid of thrush and thus have cracked, sore, and bleeding nipples....making breastfeeding
a ton of fun an excruciatingly painful and tearful experience every few hours!
Jonah has been emotional and acting out at school. Gasp. And he is my best behaved kiddo!
The cherry on top is that Elijah, who has been a great helper around the house during the day when I am battling Isaaczilla and protecting princess Olivia is out of commission.
Last Sunday he was helping his dad put the Christmas lights up and he fell off the roof.
Yep. Landing on his feet, just like a cat, somehow.
But, has been unable to walk since.
He cried initially after the fall, but recovered quickly so Richard and I figured his feet were just extremely tender.
My mommy gut instincts told me to take him in Monday as they were still pretty tender. So Monday morning I took him to the Dr and my fabulous father joined me to help carry him around since I had Olivia (Isaac went to daycare) and after a bajillion xrays of every possible angle and bone from his knees down, we didn't see any broken bones and were sent home with a regimen of Ibuprofen every 6 hours and for him to stay off his feet.
I was supposed to call by Friday if he wasn't better and the Dr figured he would be back to his old self by Wednesday.
Well, Wednesday rolled around and he still wasn't walking.
He didn't seem to be in any pain, was scooting around our house on his knees and pulling himself up to use the bathroom, but just needing to be carried to and from the car.
So, picking up Jonah from school became a 30 minute ordeal just to get everyone in their winter gear and carried to the car.
Isaac and Olivia are unsafe alone together, so I had to carry one of them first, then Elijah than the other.
3 trips to the car later, we were ready to go pick Jonah up and be back home again in 15 minutes to do it all over again! Whew!
Thankfully I had a few wonderful mommas who helped me by bringing Jonah to school and picking him up a few times so we didn't have to do this so many times.
And other wonderful friends who have brought me coffee, frozen yogurt, texted or called to see if I am surviving! This has been greatly appreciated and I am sure I wouldn't have made it through the week without you!
Wednesday morning I had a dentist appointment and figured Elijah would be better by then so I didn't bother canceling it. Isaac was going to daycare so I was just going to have Olivia, who was going to just sleep in her carseat....or so I thought.
Well, I hauled Elijah with me to the dentist, literally.
He weighs 48 pounds and is very tall so I ended up putting him on my back, putting the diaper bag over one shoulder and carrying Olivia (in her carseat) with the other hand.
Needless to say we had a few funny looks while we entered and exited the building ;0)
(Olivia ended up spending the time on my lap staring at the pretty cloud pictures on the ceiling while I had my teeth cleaned as she missed the memo about sleeping in her carseat)
After the dentist Wednesday, we made a pit stop at Starbucks (sanity refill for mom and treat for Elijah) and as I was praying about the situation we ran into my cousin and my other cousins wife.
Seeing a few beautiful familiar faces was just what I needed to relax and the Dr actually called to check on us and after hearing Elijah was still not walking wanted us to come in right away.
So back to the Dr we went.
Now the pain was isolated to his right heel, so we took a few more xrays (specific to that area) and the pediatrician and Orthopedic Dr questioned a fracture in his right heel on the growth plate.
To confirm we needed to come back in for a bone scan on Friday.
So Thursday I had Isaac stay home as he was going to have to go back to daycare on Friday.
By 11am I was ready to write a resignation letter as a mom and place a wanted ad in the newspaper for a new one.
As I tried to make mac & cheese through my tears, I prayed for more strength, grace and that I could make it until Richard got home from school.
My phone rang and it was my mom.
She was just calling to check up on us.
After I began sobbing and confessing to her that I was beyond overwhelmed and knew it was only exaggerated by my sleep deprivation, she gently reminded me that things would get better and she remembered feeling that way too.
(This was very encouraging as I don't remember my mom ever seeming as though she was overwhelmed as a child. She was supermom and always seemed to have it under control)
She offered to take the boys after school so I could take a nap with Liv.
And I did. For almost 3 hours. It felt like a year.
Then Friday morning Elijah and I had to be at the Dr at 6:45 am for the radioactive injection prior to the scan. Other than screaming loud enough for the entire hospital to hear him during the injection, it went very well!
He was so brave, laid very still while they took a few pics to make sure the injection worked, and entertained the techs with stories and his mile long Christmas list!
Here we are bright eyed and bushy tailed waiting for the injection.
Then we headed home for a few hours and came back for the 30 minute scan that went very well.
The fabulous tech from the morning had alvin and the chipmunks Christmas tunes playing and was ready for us!
I had another fabulous friend who watched Olivia while we were doing this so she didn't have to be hauled around and I could give my attention to Elijah.
After the scan, we picked up Isaac from daycare, McDonalds and headed home to wait.
And wait we did, until 6pm.
I did call at 3 just to see how things were going and the pediatrician assured me she would call me back as soon as she found out anything.
So when she called at 6pm to tell us that the bone scan did actually show he had broken his heel bone AND another bone in his left foot that overwhelming feeling became a little more overwhelming.
Thank the Lord it was Friday.
So my poor 5 year old has a broken bone in each foot and has been such a trooper.
He still seems to be comfortable and continues to scoot around the house on his hands and knees and is quite self sufficient.
We are going in at 8am Monday morning to try find a device he can wear on his feet and be able to walk. Hopefully we can do this with the assistance of a walker and some special boot or shoe.
Otherwise the alternative is casting both feet.
(insert hyperventilating momma thinking about both feet being casted)
Despite this emotional week and feeling overwhelmed with life, I have been overwhelmed by the blessings we have experienced from family and friends.
Thank you for checking up on us, and serving us with rides, food, treats and encouragement.
In the big picture, these trials are so small compared to what so many others face on a daily basis and Elijah could have been hurt much worse than he was.
We are thankful for that and counting our blessings.
I am also thankful for my husband the rock who is trying his darnedest to keep me sane and reassuring me that things are going to get easier with time.
I am also thankful for days when I only have a handful of emotional breakdowns!
I know God is good and His plan is greater than mine.
So, I am trying to take it one day at a time. Praying for strength and encouragement. Thankful for friends and family who have blessed us immensely as we are adjusting to life with 4 kids and a few broken bones.
I am also trying to ignore my to-do lists and focus on surviving each day.
At least I don't have to feel guilty about not working out.
Carrying around my 48 pound 5 year old, 30 pound 21 month old, and 9 1/2 pound infant is good enough for me right now.