Not me Monday...

It has been awhile since I have participated in Not me Monday! If you are lost, check out MckMama for the details...and the following did NOT happen to me at all! (Due to the length of the story I am going to exclude all the statements that I did NOT do the following, but just know that is the case!)

So a few weeks ago the boys were both in desperate need of a bath. They were both in the tub and I was putting clothes away frantically in their room, trying to finish before there was more water on the floor than in the tub.

Earlier in the day Elijah had been complaining of a stomachache and I had written it off for not wanting to finish any of his meals because he was just too excited to play with whatever toy was waiting for him. However, when he said it again at supper I was a little concerned that he may in fact be getting the dreaded stomach flu! So, when he refused to finish his chicken pot pie we allowed him to be done and saved the rest for him to eat later if he was hungry. I also had been having a horrible day contracting all day and was in quite a bit of pain from the constant tightening of my uterus and nervous about these continuing contractions.

The boys were in the tub all fresh and clean having a grand old time when I heard some coughing and then silence. Now, I must tell you that they have this disgusting habit of drinking the bath water or at least letting it run into their mouths and then out again. We have discouraged this and explained why it is a little gross to drink water you have been bathing in, but they often forget this minor detail when having so much fun playing.

So I heard the coughing and silence. I waited for a few seconds to hear more coughing and recovery, and asked if they were ok. Instead I heard Jonah's very nervous voice calling for me. I ran into the bathroom and saw Elijah standing in the tub with big eyes and blue lips trying to cough out the water but not making any noise or breathing. I grabbed him from the tub, around the waist, and lifted him out and over to the toilet and gave him a few good blows to the back.

I think the combination of my squeeze on his tummy and bending him over the toilet caused him to cough up the water and loose his supper into the toilet. As he is puking and having some even come out his nose he asks me in between gasps for air if he can go back into the tub. What a trooper! I then said what any loving mother would, "Just finish throwing up honey, then you can go back into the tub."

In case you forgot, our older son Jonah (who is still in the tub) has a VERY sensitive gag reflex. So sensitive that a stinky fart, sound of a gagging brother, etc can cause him to throw up. As I hear him gagging behind me I yell for Richard to come and distract him while I restrain Elijah from jumping back into the tub while he is puking.

I also yell at Jonah to cover his ears, plug his nose and think of a happy thought. He somehow manages to do all these things and recites "Grandma's house, Grandma's house, Grandma's house" for his happy thought.

By the time Richard came to our rescue, the emergency was ending and things were under control so he returned to our bedroom where he was putting clean clothes away.

After getting them settled back into the tub I started to walk down the hall towards our bedroom and realized my sweatpants were soaked from my waist to my knees.

Since I had been having such bad contractions that day I immediately thought my water had broke. My mind went into panic mode and I immediately start thinking the worst. Like that we aren't even 28 weeks yet, or would I be shipped to Fargo and put on bedrest, or would I have to deliver and have our baby on a ventilator and be in the NICU for months, or would our little fighter succumb to the numerous complications premies face like a bleed in the brain, retinopathy of prematurity, necrotizing enterocolitis, or have horrible lungs as a result from being born early.

As I am rambling off my fears to Richard, he is trying to comprehend what I am saying and asking me if we need to go to the hospital or if my water truly did break. There was definite fear in his eyes.

At that moment I was brought back to reality and realized how badly I had to pee while I was putting the boys clothes away and that I had decided to finish doing that before going to the bathroom. Which was right before Elijah started chocking and turning blue on me.

So fortunately I only peed my pants and just didn't realize it because I was more worried about my child who was not breathing and not my lack of bladder control.

After realizing this I was able to breathe a little easier, but continued to amaze Richard that I could pee my pants that bad and not realize it for so long! The beauty of having a weakened bladder after having kids I guess and being pregnant!

I hope you haven't peed your pants while reading this and that at least you got a good laugh for the day. We all certainly need them and I am more than happy to allow you to laugh on my behalf!

So what did you NOT do this past week?