Today the boys came with to my 30 week appointment and were excellent helpers! It was Richard's first day of Christmas break so he was able to come too. We had to wait for over an hour to see the doctor, which is no easy task with two toddlers and an impatient husband!
The appointment did not involve sword fights with stirrups or prizes for peeing in a cup, but both the boys were able to help our doctor find the baby's heartbeat. Elijah went first and after his regression to wanting me to do everything (short of going to the bathroom) for him since our last appointment I was utterly surprised when he asked to help. He was pretty proud to find it and exclaimed he was going to be a doctor. When I asked if he was going to be a doctor when he grew up he said nope just for Halloween next year.
The proud biggest brother took a turn next. He was also privileged to find the heartbeat right away (150s) and then proceeded to smear gel all over my belly "trying to find it somewhere else."
It was such a blessing to hear that little heartbeat again and know that he or she is doing just fine despite all the stress we are feeling! My doctor was concerned that I have been still having contractions despite being on bedrest at home and feels it would be best for the baby if I had a few more weeks of bedrest. She felt this was the best choice and we are going to reevaluate the decision at my next appointment (32 weeks). She felt that at that point I may be able to go back to work for 4 or 8 hour shifts. She also started me on nifedipine to help stop the contractions I am still having.
Although there were tears on my behalf about this decision, I am relieved that it was an easy one for her to make. I trust her judgement and ultimately want what is best for my baby. It is hard to not be caught up in the reality of it all. It is hard to not think how will we do it? It is easy to forget that God is in control and that He will provide!
It is also hard to know that my coworkers are going to be facing the craziest, busiest, unit they have seen in a long time without me. I know they understand, more than anyone else, how important it is for me to stay pregnant as long as possible. I feel truly blessed to have such amazing coworkers who care about me and are so supportive. I know this would be so much harder if they weren't so great! Hopefully I can make it up to them by keeping my baby out of the NICU and bringing them some treats!
I am also trying to think about how fortunate we are to not be spending our time in the NICU visiting our sick, premature infant and walking that road instead of this one!
Thanks to all for your prayers, support, emails, phone calls, etc. It has helped keep our spirits up more than you know! We are continuing to pray for this pregnancy to last weeks longer and for this little one to continue growing stronger each day.
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