Beautiful, fluffy, white snowflakes are dancing gracefully to the ground, adding to blankets of white snow that have accumulated while we slept. The Christmas lights are twinkling, soft Christmas music plays in the background, and two little boys full of energy and excitement are running around.
As I reflect upon the true meaning of Christmas and take time to ponder this I am overwhelmed by Christmas blessings. I am also wondering what Mary was thinking as she prepared for the birth of her son in a lowly stable. Was she scared, nervous, frightened, or at peace? Did she really know how much that little baby would change the world? Did she know that her baby boy was born so he would someday die for all?
As we prepare for the birth of our third child, we are remembering how quickly someone so small can change your lives. How quickly this little person turns your world upside down. They are unpredictable to say the least! As I am on bedrest for a few more weeks, I have been feeling convicted of knowing God has a plan for us and this little one. Preterm labor and bedrest is not the path I had chosen during this pregnancy. But, the Lord knew and He will provide. All I can do is wait patiently for His plan to unfold.
I have so many Christmas blessings to be thankful for. I am thankful for this little one staying in my belly for as long as he or she does. I am thankful that although I am afraid of what will happen, I know I will not walk it alone. I am thankful for my wonderful family and friends who have graciously been helping us out as I keep the couch warm. I am thankful for an amazing husband who is keeping me focused on God's plan and allowing me to worry about resting and keep this baby in and not about the boys or housework.
I have spent many hours in tears praying with the Lord for strength to not allow my mind to wander and consider all the what if's that accompany the delivery of such a little baby. I confessed to Richard that when we lost our last child (2 years ago) so early in the pregnancy, the hardest part was not being able to hold that baby in my arms and say goodbye. I have prayed that if God was to take this baby too, could he just allow the baby to be big enough to hold so I can say goodbye. However, now that I am facing this reality I of course do not want to give this baby up. I want to watch him or her grow, spend countless hours awake at night comforting my child, and watch this one grow with his or her big brothers. I do not want to say goodbye.
Did God want to say goodbye to His son? Did Mary? Did he want to watch His son suffer? I am sure he did not want this, but he did it for us! Wow! Could I do that if God asked me?
Today so many will gather with families, eat delicious food, exchange gifts, and make memories laughing, reflecting, and reminiscing. Some will pause to reflect on their own blessings this Christmas. Some will not. Many will forget all together though why we do gather to celebrate.
I pray you will have a joyous day celebrating Christ's birth with your loved ones. I pray that you will reflect upon your blessings this Christmas, but remember the ultimate gift we have been given. A little baby boy born in a manger to a virgin, the ultimate Christmas blessing.
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