Not Me! Monday

Not Me! Monday is back! MckMama is home, praise the Lord for Stellan's glorious SVT state and ability to return home. Praise the Lord for denial of truth and this great way to start a week! Join in and have a few good laughs on my behalf...

• I did NOT get sent home from work last night due to a more nurses than patients ratio, stay up until 2am because I was loaded on caffeine and couldn't sleep, and wake up to crying children  at 0730 who were sad to find ME instead of our great babysitter Maria whom they love!  Love you too guys!
• I did NOT allow my children to wear the same thing for 3 days in a row last week because they really wanted to and I didn't feel like arguing about it. That would be gross and I certainly would NOT allow that!
• I did NOT go through an entire box of fruit snacks last week used as bribery while running errands. I would NEVER do that!
• I did NOT find a freedom from cleaning unknown to man after utilizing a great friend's wonderful invention, Spring Clean Year Round, to keep my house in "tip top shape".  Who knew that scrubbing showers, cleaning windows, and scheduling bedding changes could be fun!
• I did NOT discover my 2 year old eating toothpaste on more than one occasion and solve the mystery of the disappearing toothpaste problem in our house.
• I did NOT buy a bag of Oreo cookies and eat them all (with the help of Jonah and Elijah) in just a few days!
• I am NOT super excited to order some absolutely delicious almonds from my dear almond-farming-brother-in-law and get a free bag of my favorite flavor (butter toffee) due to a Mother's Day special (place any order by mother's day and get a free bag of butter toffee). I do NOT dare you to try some because you will NOT become addicted and want more!
• The grande finale for the week: I was NOT extremely proud when my 4 year old son displayed a wonderful gene that was passed down from myself: a true appreciation and love for infomercials! He did NOT perfectly campaign to Richard why we needed the touch N brush because it is "easy to use and would keep our counter clean!"  That a boy!

  (***For the record I did NOT convince my father that I NEEDED a food dehydrator when I was in elementary school and told him I would religiously use it if he bought it for me. After only a few easy payments it was mine and needless to say it was found in our basement, in the package, after the Flood of '97.  My grandma used it for a few years and just returned it. I have yet to use it. But, you can make beef jerky, fruit roll ups and any dried fruit you want!  It's easy to use, easy to clean, and makes deliciously healthy snacks***)

That's all folks! Hope you had a few good laughs and were able to start your week off on the right foot thanks to moi! What didn't you do this week?