Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Remembering on October 15th

Today is the National Day of remembrance for pregnancy and infant loss. This is a loss at any stage (miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, or any other infant death). It amazes me how many people have been affected by infant loss. Death is not something people often feel comfortably talking about as a result people who suffer an infant loss often suffer quietly.

Richard and I loss our third child last November through miscarriage. It was devastating for me and I spent many months in the darkness of depression as a result. Few people are aware of this mainly because we had kept the pregnancy a secret to surprise everyone at Richard's graduation in December. I often turn to everyone but the Lord when I am hurting and I found this an awesome opportunity to trust completely in the Lord.

This is a big step for me...even talking about this on here. God continues to heal my heart a little more every day. He is sovereign and I trust His plan. He has also walked with me during this time and wrapped His arms around me so that I may get through another day. Shortly after loosing our baby, I struggled with not knowing the sex and not having any tangible evidence our baby existed. In a series of dreams God showed me the beautiful face of a daughter who was perfect in His eyes, just not well enough to survive on this Earth. This brought peace to my soul. God also worked in amazing ways to provide wonderful friends, books, stories froth other mothers, and phone calls every time I questioned or was broken to a point where I wasn't sure I could get off my knees or stop crying. I have learned so much and I am hoping to share some of that in time.

I find comfort in knowing our precious child was a part of God's plan, I will see that little angel some day in heaven, and she did not have to suffer on this Earth at all. Selfishly I have wished for just one second to hold her, see her, and touch her. I know though, she is safe and sound in heaven perfect and whole.

Please pray with me for the families who have lost like we have. There are so many.
If you want to pray for more families please visit this website:
Angie Smith has created a blog about her struggles with the loss of her daughter Audrey last April. It is an amazing story about a mother who loves the Lord.
Angie had this verse on her website which I found perfect:

…and provide for those who grieve in Zion-
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair…

Isaiah 61:2-3


1 comment:

Prachar family said...

Oh, I am so sorry. I know how hard that loss is (I have three babies waiting for me in heaven) and the depths of the sadness after such a loss. I am praying for you! God is enough, He taught me that through that fiery trial and I cling to that, especially on October 15th.