Last year on this date I was able to share for the first time that we lost a baby in November of 2007. I also shared how difficult that was for me. It broke me. It was one of the hardest things I have endured. However, the Lord drew me close and my relationship with Him grew in ways I could not have imagined. Even though the valley was so dark, I would do it again if He asked me to.
Last year I wrote this post with an empty heart and an empty womb. I shared my "Grace" with the blog world for the first time. It was very difficult, but so freeing.
Today I sit here with a womb full of life, life that God created. Life that is miraculous, just as the little life that we lost. Not only am I pregnant this year, but today I am 20 weeks. A miraculous milestone that every pregnant woman looks to and hopes to see. After waiting so long to be pregnant, it means even more to me. Each little flutter and kick or jab I feel gives me an overwhelming happiness. Yesterday Richard and I were able to see the little miracle perfect and whole. I can hardly wait to meet this little person, who God had picked for us so long ago.
Losing Grace has changed me in ways I never could have imagined. I feel I see the world in a new way and have enjoyed being closer to Jesus as a result as well. I hug my boys a little longer, I cherish each moment a little more, and thank the Lord for each day we have together.
Please join me in praying for all who have lost a baby, whether that be from miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, or any other infant death. I pray the Lord will wrap His arms around you and comfort you as you mourn and remember. I pray for peace as you wait on His plan as well.