Happy Halloween: Transformer Style

This year for Halloween the boys were transformers. Jonah was Optimus Prime and Elijah was Bumblebee. They were adorable and it was so much fun to watch them trick-or-treating.

The weather was perfect (40's) with no wind. Their costumes were big enough that I was able to add a few layers underneath to make sure they were plenty warm while we walked around the block.

There weren't very many people out trick-or-treating and not very many home to trick-or-treat to. This worked out to our advantage as we were able to make it around the block once before the boys got too cold. We also headed up to the NICU to trick-or-treat to my co-workers. After their little baskets were full of candy, we headed to Ground Round for a nice meal together. Unfortunately we had very poor service, but we tried not to let this ruin our evening. After getting the boys home and to bed, Richard and I enjoyed an evening of scrabble, visiting, and treats with our friends Nate and Amy.

Overall it was a wonderful evening! It was fun to watch the boys enthralled with their "glow-sticks" and remember the endless hours my sisters and I spent playing with these after Halloween as well!

20 weeks and getting to know you baby.

Dear Baby,

You are 20 weeks and I can hardly believe this pregnancy is half over! You are growing so fast and I love feeling you kick and move all the time. You are even more active than your big brothers were when they were in my tummy! You were also measuring bigger than your big brothers who are already wondering who will be the biggest when they grow up! It was so fun to see you moving all around during the ultrasound and your daddy and I LOVED seeing you showing off for us. Here we are at 20 weeks! My belly feels like it is rapidly growing to make more room for you to play and grow.

The last few weeks have been fun around here because your daddy and both your brothers have been able to feel you kicking! You better watch out for those big brothers of yours...they are anxiously waiting for you to come out and play. They also can't wait to help take care of you, read you stories, and give you LOTS of hugs and kisses.

It has been so fun to see your little personality coming out already. You hate it when I type and I can feel you moving like crazy when I am typing on the computer and especially charting at work on the computer. I have also noticed you being more aware of loud noises out here. At work the other day you jumped when I was filling my water bottle with ice from the ice machine. You also don't appreciate when all the alarms from the monitors and IV pumps go off while I am working. When your big brother Elijah sits on my lap you kick and kick. You don't do this when Jonah sits on my lap, if I didn't know any better I would think you already know who you need to worry about the most!

It amazes me how much I love you, even though I have not even met you. I have had dreams about seeing your beautiful face for the first time and hearing your glorious cry and smelling your sweetness and kissing your soft baby skin. We are so excited to meet you little one and are praying you continue to stay in that nice warm place for a lot longer!

Love always,

Your Mommy

Introducing...

...the littlest Dafoe. Our ultrasound went well and the tech kept commenting on how our little one was moving around so much and didn't believe that I hadn't had any caffeine that morning! I am a little concerned by this, I am frightened this baby will give us a run for our money.

The ultrasound tech was so sweet and went in to great detail for this little one's nervous NICU nurse mommy! I heard music to my ears like "beautiful cerebellum" and "beautiful 4 chamber heart". Richard found this entertaining to say the least. Our "stubborn" child who refused to hold still for more than a few seconds and allow the tech to get the pictures she needed showed their true colors. It did allow for more viewing pleasure for Richard and I though!

We didn't find out what we are having and decided to wait and be surprised! Sorry to all who wanted to know! The baby was measuring a whole week ahead, which is also a little concerning to me! Now, I really don't want to go over my due date at all! I guess this little one will probably follow in his or her big brother's footsteps and be off the charts for height as well!

Pretty cute huh?

The ultrasound tech was impressed by our "big footed" child.

I am so in love with this little person! Can't wait to snuggle with you little one!

After the ultrasound and my appointment, I sat in my car and praised the Lord for our beautiful child and cried tears of joy for the perfect little person God created!

Remembering on October 15th

Today is the National Day of remembrance for pregnancy and infant loss. This is a loss at any stage (miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, or any other infant death). So many people are impacted by one of, if not more than one, of these losses. Many often suffer silently as well. Today is a day to remember all those beautiful little babies who were lost.

Last year on this date I was able to share for the first time that we lost a baby in November of 2007. I also shared how difficult that was for me. It broke me. It was one of the hardest things I have endured. However, the Lord drew me close and my relationship with Him grew in ways I could not have imagined. Even though the valley was so dark, I would do it again if He asked me to.

Last year I wrote this post with an empty heart and an empty womb. I shared my "Grace" with the blog world for the first time. It was very difficult, but so freeing.

Today I sit here with a womb full of life, life that God created. Life that is miraculous, just as the little life that we lost. Not only am I pregnant this year, but today I am 20 weeks. A miraculous milestone that every pregnant woman looks to and hopes to see. After waiting so long to be pregnant, it means even more to me. Each little flutter and kick or jab I feel gives me an overwhelming happiness. Yesterday Richard and I were able to see the little miracle perfect and whole. I can hardly wait to meet this little person, who God had picked for us so long ago.

Losing Grace has changed me in ways I never could have imagined. I feel I see the world in a new way and have enjoyed being closer to Jesus as a result as well. I hug my boys a little longer, I cherish each moment a little more, and thank the Lord for each day we have together.

Please join me in praying for all who have lost a baby, whether that be from miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, or any other infant death. I pray the Lord will wrap His arms around you and comfort you as you mourn and remember. I pray for peace as you wait on His plan as well.

The Big Day!

We have our ultrasound this morning at 8am! I am so excited, nervous, giddy, anxious, all these emotions at once. I am still puking so the mornings are the worst. On top of that, I have to drink 32oz of liquid for the ultrasound, not throw it up, and not pee! This is proving to be quite a challenge!

I better keep drinking...but glad I was up early enough to spend a little time praying and calming my anxious heart. God is so good! I know He will be holding Richard and I up no matter what we discover on the ultrasound. Please pray for us if you think of it. I have no reason to believe this baby isn't perfectly healthy, however, working in the NICU has taught me that you can never take anything for granted. I feel any "healthy and normal delivery" is a miracle in itself. Unlike the general population, who often think it odd to hear of a "bad delivery" or a baby born with anything wrong!

Poor Richard has to hold my hand and keep me calm as I wait to see all major organs present and accounted for before I can enjoy the simple pleasure of watching our little one dance around on the screen.

Lord, you are bigger than any problem we could potentially face. You have a plan for this child and you knew about him or her before he or she was ever a thought in our eyes. I pray for peace, comfort, and strength as we wait to see our little one. I know you are always there and I am so grateful for your presence and thankful for my calmed anxious heart. We love you Lord, always. Give me strength to walk the path you have chosen for us and this unborn miracle you have created and blessed us with!

Go Riders!

I am so proud of my hubby and his cross country team for their excellent job at EDC Saturday! It was so fun to watch the races and see the runners excell! They have worked so hard this year and I know Richard is so proud of them as well! Great job Riders and way to go Richard! State is Oct 24th and I know everyone is excited for the big day! It was so rewarding to see Richard so happy and proud of his runners after the race! It has been quite a transition for us being the family of a coach, but we have enjoyed it and look forward to many more seasons to come!

Lovely decorations

Fall is finally here, or maybe winter since it has been so cold. Either way, I LOVE decorating our home for the change of seasons! I have already gotten out the fall/halloween decorations...

A pumpkin plate picked out by the boys...

Beautiful flowers given to me by a great friend when I needed a hug and a smile!
Our beautiful old piano that is perfect for decorations!

Beautiful leaves and some more festive decorations!

A few of my favorite things...

These are just a few of my favorite things recently...

1. Feeling the boys snuggle up to me while reading a book and how they subconsciously link their arm with mine.
2. Watching my belly grow!
3. Taking naps whenever the boys do and not feeling guilty about it.
4. What's even better is taking naps with them!
5. Feeling hiccups and little kicks throughout the day.
6. Snuggling up with my hubby in the evenings for a sweet treat or some delicious homemade popcorn before bed.
7. Getting my belly kissed and sung to by two EXCITED big brothers!
8. Hearing the boys talk about how much the will "help" with the new baby!
9. My ultrasound date is getting closer and closer!
10. Trying to picture this little perfect person (will he or she have brown eyes like Jonah? will he or she be a good little sleeper like Elijah was? will he or she look like me or Richard?)
11. Enjoying the boys and our time together before a little one is added into the mix.
12. Allowing God to shape and mold my heart to become a better mother and wife.
13. Getting to wear pants and long sleeve shirts with the cooler weather arriving (I have the most cool weather maternity clothes)
14. Having a husband who loves his job come home happy every day!

What simple pleasures in life have you been enjoying recently?