Wednesday, May 25, 2011

A Stream of Trouble

There are many moments we experience as a parent.

Times when you overhear adorable comments from your little ones as they are playing in the other room.

Times when your day is falling to pieces and they tell you
 how beautiful you are or that you are the best mom ever!

Times when you catch them doing something nice for someone else, or exhibiting exquisite manners for an audience of strangers who in turn believe your children to be angels.

Times when you witness such horrendous behavior that you wish you could join the 
gawking bystanders instead of gathering the monster that has replaced your child who is now on the floor of target throwing a tantrum because you won't allow him to have a cookie at 9am.

Or when your children run down aisles at the store behaving like barbarians and you shake your head in disgust with the other shoppers when they ask who's kids are those, but quickly run around the corner to the next aisle to meet them and scold them in secret. 

(Not that I know what that is like or have ever done that)

Then there are moments when you witness your child doing something so unlike them or so inappropriate that your jaw may be touching the floor and no words can escape your mouth that are able to be heard by little ears.

I had one of those moments Sunday with my 6 year old!

It was a beautiful, sunny day and we were at a graduation party for one of Richard's runners at a hotel in town.  We had been able to congratulate the graduate, enjoy some of the delicious food, and escape before leaving to many crumbs on the floor or eating too many sweets. 

Richard and I had sent the older 2 boys outside to head towards the van
 and we were only a few minutes behind them. 

When I walked outside I didn't see either of the big boys and after calling their name Elijah came running around the corner of the hotel.

I asked where Jonah was and he very nonchalantly said, "Peeing."

As my stomach churned a little I asked where, and Elijah promptly replied, "over there."

Sure enough.

I took a few more steps and found my 6 year old son peeing on the front of the hotel!
(insert jaw drop and steam out of ears)

Other than the distinct peeing stance and a wet stream in front of him, one may not have known what he was doing.

I was so shocked I couldn't even speak.

Fortunately he had been smart enough to do this in the corner slightly hidden from the view of any poor innocent guests and I am pretty sure only our family witnessed this event.

After using both his names and dragging him to the car, I was still in shock.

After sharing with Jonah my extreme disappoint in his poor choice for a place to "relieve himself", he proceeded to say he only did it because he was going to wet his pants.

Since Richard and I weren't born yesterday, and we had all walked right past the bathroom in the hotel lobby not minutes before he "emergently" had to go, this defense failed to stand up in the courtroom of our car.

I told him his dad and I would decide on a punishment and I continued to share my disbelief with Richard that the event had actually occurred!

Richard smiled and found the event slightly amusing despite the circumstances.

I suppose laughing about it did release a little tension that I had been building up as I replayed the mortifying scene in my head.

Richard also reminded me that no one else probably saw the incident.
(Trying to look at the positives of the situation)

Then Jonah pipes in from the backseat, "at least I didn't pull my pants all the way down."

For some reason that was the last straw and Richard and I both began silently laughing and couldn't stop.

Then Richard looked over smiling and asked if I was going to blog about it.

I decided I must.  This blog is about the adventures of our lives and despite this one being one I would rather erase, it is deserving of a post!

While I thought Jonah's punishment should be scrubbing the toilets at home and the floor in front of them, Richard decided that sitting next to him at the next graduation party for 30 minutes while we chatted with others instead of playing wii with the other kids was punishment enough.

As we drove home I silently prayed to the Lord for a daughter.

Girls don't pee on hotels right?

I am sure they never do anything wrong.
 Sugar and Spice and everything nice, isn't that what little girls are made of?

However, if any little girl was going to pee on a hotel,
it would probably be the little girl with 3 big brothers.

I will just pray for a good listener instead.

1 comment:

Cindy and company said...

Hilarious! I have to admit that I actually encouraged Jesse to pee outside the other day! He's potty training and had to go...what's a lazy mom to do? I'm so glad that you were able to laugh about this. Kids rock!