Trust in the Lord

If you are a frequent visitor of my blog you are aware of my struggles with trust in my walk with the Lord. This isn't because the Lord isn't trustworthy, and He has even shown me this multiple times. However, I struggle with control issues and thus completely trusting the Lord with His plan and not my own.

I have recently felt challenged by the Lord in this area. I am humbled by how the Lord is always there and always provides. I am humbled by His plan for our lives. I am not sure if I can put to words how I feel but here it goes.

Richard often refers to me as momma bear. I am more protective of our kids than he is. I worry a little more and like to keep them a little closer than he does. I am thankful for His ability to let go and let our boys live a little. I know this has helped them learn the balance they need as they are growing and learning about the world.

The momma bear gene is always a little heightened when I am pregnant. This, of course, is magnified by the fact that I am a NICU nurse and have a very distorted view of "normal" in regards to pregnancy and birth. I feel overwhelmed with love for this little peanut who helplessly depends on my body to support him or her until he or she arrives. I am also a worrier and struggle with not knowing the unknown.

I am confident one of the reasons the Lord chose Richard to be my husband, is that he is not a worrier. One of his strengths is his ability to trust the Lord and listening to God's plan for our family. He also helps me remember that I am not in control and gently reminds me to trust God's plan. (I am a little surprised he hasn't made a sign that says "TRUST THE LORD" that he could hold up everytime I need a little reminder).

Wednesday we will be 14 weeks! A major milestone for so many reasons: we made it to the 2nd trimester, I will hopefully start feeling better in the next few months, and we are that much closer to meeting our precious child. This also means we are only a few weeks from our 20 week ultrasound. This is always such a high anxiety provoking event for me! Being able to see for ourselves that this little one is healthy and whole will be a relief.

Each day that goes by and our baby continues to thrive is a blessing in my eyes. I find myself enjoying this pregnancy and not worrying as much. I am praising the Lord for the puking and feeling rotten as I know this is a good sign of a healthy pregnancy. I also know that I have no control over what we will see at the 20 week ultrasound. This frightens me a little. There is no guarantee this little one will be ok. However, God has spoke to me during quiet times and through the songs during worship on Sunday and through the faithfulness of friends.

He has said yet again, "Becky, I am in control. I have a plan for you, for this child whom I am given you, and for your family. Trust me. I love you."

So I don't know what will happen at that appointment, or tomorrow for that matter. I do know that whatever challenges are presented to us, the Lord will be there right beside us. I pray for the strength to praise Him despite how the plan coordinates with my own. He has provided, supported, and held me up before. He will do it again. I will not be alone.

Until then I will continue celebrating each day of this little one's life. Whether that be weeks, days, months, or years. I will praise his precious name.

Spiderman Party

Elijah had a Spider Man birthday party this year by default. He wanted a Robin party (from batman), but I spent HOURS looking on the internet for party supplies and came up empty handed. Thanks to my sister Nikki and her husband Tom, Elijah became obsessed with spiderman after our trip to Montana when he opened a spiderman lego set from them! Whew! We jumped on the spiderman train, and I talked it up until the big day! Overall, it was a great party and such a fun day!

Elijah did get a little overwhelmed when everyone arrived and he didn't get to eat his cake and open presents right away. We had the slip and slide set up in the backyard for the kiddos and the adults just relaxed while they played. Here are some fun pics from the day!

You can't have a party without fun balloons!

Elijah trying out the slip and slide. He was a little frustrated by his inability to slide all the way down, but still had fun.

After some hot dogs, fruit, and chips the kiddos played superheros in the basement while the adults ate.

The Spidey cake!

Happy Birthday to Elijah!

Choosing the perfect piece of cake.

How can he be 3 already?

Great Grandpa Tony and Great Grandma Sharon with the birthday boy!

We ended the night with a bonfire. It was so much fun and we were so pleased with how well it went! The kids had a blast and Elijah was one happy boy! (I am thankful that Jonah's birthday is a few months away though, that was exhausting!)

Elijah's birthday fun!

These are some fun pics from Elijah's birthday. We had a wonderful time celebrating him all day long. He of course enjoyed the extra attention as well. Jonah struggled with it, but I guess that isn't too surprising!

The birthday boy eating delicious blueberry muffins compliments of daddy. (Of course he had to put a candle in and blow it out!)

Doing the "Hokey Pokey" with Grandma. This has become a popular dance in our house after the recent wedding we attended.

Lunch at Space Aliens with mom, dad, Jonah, Grandma Irene, Auntie Laura and Grandma Teresa. It was even Token Tuesday!

Opening presents. Notice the "helper" who probably opened more of the presents than the birthday boy!

Playing games.

Jonah hit a jackpot and we got 75 tickets from one play!

We had bible study that night and celebrated with some delicious cake and ice cream.

(Notice the shirt he is wearing Prachars? Yep, it is still a popular choice from the costume box in our home. Thanks!)

Making a wish...

Grandpa and Grandma came over with their present...

Spiderman hotwheels! The beloved "bus" is being saved for the baby.

What a day we had! All day we kept asking Elijah who was turning three today, and he would slowly raise his hand with a giant smile on his face! By the end of the day he thought he was 3 1/2 though! He also wondered when his next birthday was. Oh, to be a kid again!

Grandma Irene comes to visit!

Grandma Irene (Richard's mom) came for a visit! It has been quite chaotic around here so I haven't had time to write about it yet! We had a wonderful time with her and the boys loved spending some one on one time with her while Richard and I were working. She hadn't seen them since last November and since she lives in sunny California, we don't get to see her very often.

We picked her up at the airport and surprised her with our exciting news! The boys had their big brother shirts on and did a great job not saying anything until she guessed it. It was so hard to wait so long to tell her, but so fun to be able to tell her in person!

She was able to see some old friends, and lots of family at her niece's wedding in Fargo. She was also able to help Elijah celebrate his birthday, which she hasn't been able to do yet. The boys had so much fun playing with her, showing her their new "tricks" and snuggling. It was a little easier for her to leave this time since she is hopefully coming back when the new baby comes. They were pretty excited to hear this and thought it was a good idea for her to come and just play with them!

Unfortunately, I was the sickest I have been yet with this pregnancy while she was here and ended up getting IV fluids in the ER. She was so sweet and helpful and I really appreciated her company and help while I was trying to make it through each day without throwing up too much!

The boys have been talking about going to visit Grandma in California! Wouldn't that be fun! Too bad we don't have a money tree in the backyard and the only breaks Richard has from work are during holidays (when I am working) and when I have breaks he is working. We are looking forward to seeing her again in February/March!

Urgent Prayer Request!

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Update #1: Nikki is out of surgery and they did not find a blockage, but three areas that were infected and swollen. They are still unsure of why this occurred, but hopefully she will start feeling better now and the antibiotics will do their job! Thanks for praying!

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Dear friends and family,

Please pray for my sister Nikki! She is living in Montana with her husband and is having surgery right now. We don't know many details, just that she has been not feeling well for over a week and had been previously seen by a doctor who had done a few tests to try find out what is wrong. She has been having abdominal pain and I am afraid she might have a blockage of some kind.

Sorry for the limited info, but that is really all I know. We are just trusting God and praying the surgeons are able to discover the problem and a fix. Her wonderful husband is taking excellent care of her, so even though she is so far away, we know she is in good hands! However, they both have recently started new jobs (this summer), so please pray for all those details to work themselves out with time off, etc.

Thanks and I will update as soon as I know more.

Love, Becky

My baby sister is off to college!

Today my baby sister Laura moved to Moorhead, MN to attend her first year of college at Concordia. She is officially a Cobber! She headed down a week early to join the cross country team for a team trip before school starts. I got teary eyed watching her drive away. I remember holding her in the hospital and feel a little like another mother hen. I am looking forward to her being so close and hoping we can make some regular trips down there to visit her.

My parents are experiencing empty nest syndrome for the first time, so we are going to have to fill that gap with our rambunctious toddlers so they don't get too used to the quiet!

We love you Laura, and can't wait to see God using you for His kingdom! I pray you are able to embrace this adventure and all God has in store for you!

Happy 3rd Birthday Elijah!

Today my baby is 3! I can hardly believe it! It seems like just yesterday he was born and being the perfect little newborn that he was. Funny that I still remember the labor so well! He was born at 6:47am at a whopping 7lbs 6oz. He was 2 weeks early and a lot smaller than his big brother (8lbs 14oz). He was such a sweet baby and we were pleasantly surprised to have a "normal newborn" experience. We instantly fell in love with him and it hasn't changed.

One of our first pictures of the birthday boy!

Inspecting his cuteness!

How the years have flown by! I wish they would slow down so I could enjoy each moment just a little longer. I love the independence he is developing yet the dependence on me that still exists. It is a beautiful mix. He is still a momma's boy! He loves to snuggle and lets me kiss his sweet cheeks whenever he flies by.

One years old.

2 years old.

Dear Elijah,

Today you are 3! You have been waiting for this big day for a few months now and I can't believe you were able to go to sleep last night. You are turning into a busy, curious, and confident little boy right before our eyes.

You spend most of your days as either Bruce Wayne Batman, Robin the boy wonder, Peter Parker aka Spiderman, or any other superhero that happens to interest you that day. You have an amazing imagination and love playing with your big brother who you adore.

You are very stubborn and strong willed (not sure who you got that from). You love to read books and listen to silly songs. You also love searching for "slug bugs" while we drive around town. You spend most of the day in a superhero costume, with a superhero cape on, or with your blanket as a cape around your neck.

You also have a stuffed dog that you sleep with who you have named "Elsie" who sure gets lots of loving. You are quite attached to your blankie too. You have inherited my sweet tooth and won't pass up a cookie or some ice cream. Your favorite bible story is David and Goliath and you love singing songs at night before bed.

You would preferred to be carried when we go on walks and love watching movies. You have been potty trained for 2 months and are doing so well! You are very proud of this and that you can do it "all by yourself" just like your big brother. You like to walk the fine line between obeying and breaking the rules. You also LOVE being outside and wrestling with your daddy and big brother.

You aren't so sure about being a big brother yourself and have threatened to hurt your new brother or sister for snuggling with mommy and also offered to big a big helper and feed the baby a bottle. You are looking forward to teaching this younger sibling all about superheros and how to "fight" with you and Jonah.

You respond to Elijah, Lou, or 'Lijah lou. You also think your full name is Elijah Rock (after a song your dad loves) not Elijah Richard. This is of course when you do not prefer to be called by your superhero name!

Your dad and I love you so much little buddy! We are so blessed to call you our son and can't wait to see what God has in store for you! We hope that you grow to love the Lord and allow Him to use you in mighty ways. I am learning to let go a little more each day.

Happy Birthday Lou!

Love always,

Mommy