Happy Birthday Dad!

Today is my dad's birthday! We celebrated with him this weekend because my sister Nikki was home from Montana for a quick visit to see my Grandma. My sister Laura came home from college for the weekend too! It was so fun to have the whole family together. We had a delicious meal together, hung out, and shared some laughs while eating birthday cake.

Here are the boys with my dad

Singing Happy Birthday

Just Grandpa got to blow out the candles!

The boys weren't too impressed so we relit a few candles so they could have a turn too

Here is a fun pic of my sister Nikki and my Dad

We love you so much Dad and we are so blessed to call you Dad and Grandpa. It has been such a blessing to be so much closer to you and be able to see you on a regular basis! It has also been so wonderful to watch you with the boys. The absolutely adore you and have so many great memories with you already. We are looking forward to helping you celebrate many more birthdays!

Love your favorite oldest daughter!

Little Butt

It has been fun getting to know "Bruce" during this pregnancy. It still amazes me how different each pregnancy has been, yet how similar some things have been. One of the major differences this pregnancy has been this little one's position. For the majority of the pregnancy Bruce has been in the same general position. I think he or she has been head down lying in a C position with the back to my pelvis and legs tucked under facing to my left. Bruce also likes to stick his or her butt up on the right side of my belly. I have tried to capture a picture of this many times and by the time I get the camera Bruce moves.

However, my sister Laura was able to get a pic for me just a few days ago. It is hard to tell this from the picture but Bruce's little butt sticks way up and my belly is very lopsided. See the buldge on the right? Richard and I have been entertained by this throughout my pregnancy and I am curious to see what kind of position this little one will be comfortable in when he or she arrives.

The boys think it is fun to give the baby's butt a little tap when this happens too! After our labor scare at 29 weeks, Bruce has alternated between this position and laying sunny side up so we can feel little knees flying back and forth across my tummy. Bruce assumed this position to kick at the monitors on my belly I believe. He or she was NOT a fan of those!

The boys weren't as mobile as this little one has been. Not sure if that should worry me or not! After all the excitement little Bruce has blessed us with, we are thinking this one might give us a run for our money. We will hopefully be ready for that. Although I don't think you are ever really ready for a baby you just adjust as you go! Either way I am looking forward to seeing that little butt!

Big Brother Class

Last night we brought the boys to "big brother class" at the hospital we are delivering at. I have been so excited for this since we signed up months ago. The boys have been pretty excited too! Richard thought I should stay home on the couch, but I convinced him to let me come with and promised I would let him push me around in the wheelchair so we did.

The boys were supposed to bring a baby or stuffed animal with to class for the demonstration. Elijah brought his beloved "Elsie" (the puppy he sleeps with each night) and Jonah brought Pooh bear.

The "teacher" (a nurse) talked with all the kids about what to expect when the baby is born and when the baby first comes home. She did an excellent job covering all the topics from the baby's soft spot, to having tired parents from being up all night with feedings, to the umbilical cord falling off to reveal the belly button.

Here are all the kids listening to the teacher

After covering the basics on a newborn, each child got a diaper and a bottle for their baby or animal they brought with. The teacher showed them all how to hold the baby, making sure to support their neck and how to feed the baby a bottle and burp them after. Then each child practiced on their baby or animal they brought.

Elijah was trying to diaper Elsie by himself here and eventually asked for help...

...here he is getting some help with it. Jonah had it down pretty quickly!

After this part of class we all went up to the labor and delivery unit and the teacher talked about the labor and delivery room, the bed, the crib the baby would be in and the warmer bed. Then they brought a real baby to show us! The boys thought that was pretty special.

It was so fun to watch them during the class. They were very interested in learning all about how to be a big brother and it made me teary eyed watching them diaper, feed and burp their animals. It was fun thinking about how it won't be much longer before they can practice what they have learned on their new baby brother or sister!

When we got home from class they wanted to change their animals diapers over and over, feed them bottles and put them to bed! It was adorable! I didn't think they would get into it as much as they did. They also woke up first thing this morning and did the same thing. I actually got in trouble for talking too loud because their babies were sleeping and I was going to wake them up!

Here is a fun picture of the boys showing me what they learned! (I am afraid Elijah missed the part about supporting the head well during a feeding, we might have to work on that)

Two proud big brothers anxious to meet Bruce!

I had to include this one for Bruce to look back someday and see that Elijah really was excited for him or her to come! He informed me that he was going to be able to feed the baby a bottle after learning how in his class, but wasn't changing any poopy diapers! He did say he would throw the wet ones in the garbage for me though. Either way he was truly excited to be a big brother and this was a HUGE milestone in my opinion!

I can't say I am convinced he will be as excited when the real deal is here, but oh well! Baby steps right? It will be interesting to see how "helpful" they are when the baby is here too. Either way, I am sure their will NEVER be a dull moment around our house!

33 weeks belly shot

Dear Bruce,

We made it to 33 weeks! I am so proud of us! Your daddy and I are so thankful that God has kept you safe in there for the past 4 weeks. We couldn't be happier...however, we would really LOVE it if you stayed put for a few more weeks. We know you are anxious to meet everyone and we are excited to meet you too. I also feel like I am getting bigger every day! I know you are running out of room in there, but it's really a pretty nice place to be right now.

So we hope you can stay put for a few more weeks. You gave me a little scare this morning when I was having quite a few contractions and lots of pressure! Fortunately the doctor had me come in and get checked and everything looks great. We did a non-stress test and you tolerated the contractions like a champ. My cervix is still closed (praise the Lord), and the doctor thought I could just increase my medicine that is helping keep you in there a little longer. Whew! I was pretty excited thinking about getting to meet you today, but VERY thankful that is not the case!

You are one lucky little stinker, you have lots of people who love you and pray for you every day. We also have lots of people who love us and have been taking such good care of us so you can stay put! God is so good and we are overwhelmed with the blessings we have received. We can't wait to tell you about it when you are bigger. Speaking of getting bigger...

...here we are at 33 weeks! We love you lots and look forward to snuggling with you in a few weeks. PS, if you would kindly keep your kicks and punches directed north toward my ribs and not south toward my bladder that would be greatly appreciated.

Love always,

Your Momma

32 weeks and a prayer request

Here is the 32 week belly shot! I can hardly believe we are already here! It is such a blessing to still be pregnant and celebrating each week. I am becoming more and more curious each day to see how many more days/weeks I will be pregnant. I am also going a little crazy thinking about FINALLY finding out who is in there!

I had a great appointment wednesday and my cervix is still closed! Praise the Lord! My doctor discussed going back to work or remaining on bedrest. Her vote was for bedrest, but she did say she would support my decision if I wanted to try going back to work. I spent that day and evening praying about it and contemplating the decision. Thanks to the wisdom of my hubby, family, and wonderful friends I decided to stay on bedrest for at least 2 more weeks.

I prayed God would make it obvious. He sure did. I started contracting the next day (Thurs) and haven't had much of a break since. A wonderful friend also pointed out to me (Thanks Joey) that I had nothing to gain by trying to work again and would definitely regret going into labor so early.

So I am back to the couch and feel even more restricted than before since my contractions seem to be a little worse, more frequent, and more related to my activity. I am thankful for Nifedipine though! Despite making me feel yucky all the time, it is working to slow down and minimize the contractions.

Richard continues to be wonderful doing EVERYTHING and the boys are enjoying the extra time with me home and are "taking care of me" while daddy is at work! I might be using up all my "helper" points with them before the baby comes, but so be it!

We have been overwhelmed by the blessings from family and friends who have stopped by for visits, brought meals, or simply called to keep me from going CRAZY!!!!! It has been a little disappointing to know I am using up my maternity leave waiting for Bruce to make his or her debut

Please pray for continued wisdom for myself and the doctor as we take it one week at a time. Also please continue to pray for safety of this little one when the big day comes!

I also have another prayer request for my grandmother.

My dad's mother has been battling cancer for 5 years now. She is one tough cookie and continues to amaze us all with her strength, positive attitude, and ability to brighten any room with her smiles. Last wednesday she found a lump in her abdomen and a CT scan confirmed it was colon cancer.

She had surgery yesterday to place a stoma which is when the surgeon creates an opening in wall of the abdomen connecting her bowels to it. They did this to bypass the tumor that is quickly invading her organs. She has a very weakened immune system already from her years of treatments already and has been needing frequent (at least weekly) blood transfusions for quite some time. The surgeon was discouraged by how quickly this mass is metastasizing throughout her body and are very unsure of how much time she may have left.

She is 87 years old and amazingly healthy despite all she has been through. Mentally and emotionally she is sharp as a tack. The physicians feel it will only be a matter of weeks, but she has continued to defy all odds of medicine until this point. My dad and his siblings are trying to find the best way to keep her comfortable and look at managing her pain at this point.

Her husband, my grandpa, is 93 and was moved to an assisted living facility this fall since my grandmother was no longer able to care for him as much and he had fallen a few times. He is also unbelievably healthy and has just started to show some signs of dementia. We aren't sure how much of all this he understands, but we know it is hard for him too!

The best part of it all is that she is a believer and we know she will be in a much better place when the Lord does call her home. However, it is still hard to watch her like this and not know what to expect.

Please keep her in your prayers and my family as well. They were able to spend lots of time with her this past weekend and are taking turns being with her for "shifts" now that the work week has started again. Pray for continued wisdom as her children support her wishes and try make her as comfortable as possible. Pray for her as well that she will have the strength to endure what lies ahead. We know God is in control and His plan is perfect.

Kids say the darndest things...

I wanted to write these comments down before I forgot them. The boys have been saying such adorable things related to my pregnancy, bedrest, etc. I just couldn't help sharing them with you!

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(We have read a book to the boys about childbirth that compares the birth canal to a tunnel)

Elijah: Mom, does the baby need a flashlight to come out?

Me: What do you mean buddy?

Elijah: Will the baby be able to find it's way out the tunnel without a flashlight? The tunnel is dark and how will the baby know which way to go?

Me: Nope, the baby won't need a flashlight, it will know which way to go.

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Elijah: Mom what's that house called again?

Me: What house Elijah?

Elijah: The house that the baby is in?

Me: My uterus?

Elijah: Oh yeah, the ooterus. Is it warm in there mommy?

Me: Yeah, it sure is buddy.

Elijah: Good, 'cause I don't want my baby to get cold!

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(After I was in the hospital for preterm labor Elijah and I had the following conversation the next day)

Elijah: Mom, are you feeling better?

Me: Yep, I am buddy, thanks for asking?

Elijah: Mom, did the baby try to come out the tunnel too soon?

Me: Yes it did Elijah.

Elijah: But, you told the baby to stay in there?

Me: Yes I did and we prayed for God to help the baby stay in mommy's tummy longer.

Elijah: Oh, so it is a good listener. That is good!

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Jonah: Mom, will your tummy be like this forever?

Me: No, it will get smaller after the baby comes out.

Jonah: Oh, so it will be flat right away, after the baby comes out the tunnel?

Me: No, it will take a little while, but it will be smaller after the baby comes out.

Jonah: Oh, that's too bad. I kind of like your big tummy.

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(Since being on bedrest I haven't been able to pick the boys up, go down stairs very often, etc)

Jonah: Mom will you be back to normal after the baby is born?

Me: What do you mean buddy?

Jonah: Like will you be able to do mommy stuff again?

Me: Like what kind of things are you talking about?

Jonah: Like snuggling in my bed (he is on the top bunk), holding me, going down the stairs, and not sitting on the couch all the time.

Me: Yep, I should be able to do most of those things again, maybe not right away, but I will.

Jonah: Will you be done puking and peeing all the time and be able to remember stuff again?

Me: Yep, I sure hope so buddy!

Jonah: Oh, that is good! I sure am glad you won't be silly forever!

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Being Thankful

Don't you love it when you are convicted of something and while your heart is wrestling with the conviction God helps you by opening your eyes via a song, specific scripture during quiet time, sermon at church, or a phone call from a friend?

Even though it kind of makes me want to cower like a 2 year old being punished for something I did wrong, it is so uplifting at the same time. It is so humbling and encouraging that the Lord cares enough about me to do just that...let me know He cares.

I have been struggling recently with feelings of stress, anxiety, lack of control (which I don't ever have problems with of course), and frustration about being on bedrest. If you know me at all, you won't be surprised by this frustration with my lack of control over the situation. I feel totally helpless and pretty much like a bum. My WONDERFUL husband has been working overtime at home to fulfill ALL our needs. He is cooking, cleaning, caring for me and the kids on top of working and trying to maintain order in our home. He is doing a fabulous job by the way! But, it is hard to watch him having to take this all on and not be able to help!

My family has been so great too, helping out so much with the boys, running errands, and just keeping me company and forcing me to sit with my feet up. My friends have also been generous as well making meals, stopping by to help out and for visits, calling, texting or emailing. I feel like a prisoner and they all have no idea how much it means to me to have them take time from their busy schedules just to show me they love me!

Last week I was feeling overwhelmed by all the unknowns, my lack of control, and the stress of how are we going to make it if this continues? My husband listened to me rant and rave and calmly reminded me that instead of spending my time worrying I should be thinking of all the reasons why I am thankful for my present situation. Huh? Maybe I am a minority, but that certainly isn't my first response to a time like this. It should be, but it isn't.

However, once I started listing off all the things to be thankful for regarding my current situation, I could feel the Lord filling the darkness inside of me with light! So instead of worrying about how the money will stretch far enough, or if our baby will make it weeks more before delivery, or how much longer the boys are going to make it before they crack, I am being thankful.

I am thankful that...

1. First of all that this is God's plan for me, our child, and our family. Even though this wasn't my plan, it is the best one because it is His.
2. Our baby has tolerated this whole ordeal beautifully! He or she has never been in distress or showing signs of being compromised. PRAISE the LORD!!!!!
3. Even though I am not working, I do have some time saved for maternity leave and am still getting a pay check for the time being.
4. The boys have been struggling with this change, but are really handling it marvelously.
5. I am in my own home on bedrest and not in the hospital!
6. I can get up and move around my house a little bit, still able to shower each day, and still able to care for my kiddos (even if it is modified).
7. I have an amazing support system including my family and friends who have been angels during all this
8. My health is fine and I do not have any compromising factors that could complicate this bedrest/pregnancy even more!
9. I am almost 32 weeks (Thursday) and that itself is amazing!
10. God is in control!

So should I have been surprised that the sermon on Sunday was about being thankful in EVERY circumstance? Probably not. I was overwhelmed with tears and thankfulness as I was directed to verse after verse after verse in the bible referring to this exact command. God is good. I am thankful for that.

I pray I am able to continue this more positive and gracious way of thinking as I continue down this road with unknown turns, stops, valleys, and mountains. I am only able to do this with the strength of Christ.

I will also sure be thankful to hold this little bugger who has been causing all this excitement (whenever that may be). I am hoping that it will be later, but am still looking forward to it!